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So who will it be?
"Survivor" is a superb TV show for any season. It's also been God's gift to the columnists of this great land, TV Barn being no exception. And since everyone else is handicapping "Survivor's" final four, I might as well rate them too. (Just remember, I was the guy who was sure it was Gervase.)
Rude:
Kelly Wiglesworth, the river guide with a real-life police record, has suddenly become the dark horse to win it all. The alliance has successfully ousted most of its younger, swifter, stronger rivals, but now they're facing their worst nightmare in Kelly. Not only has she won the last two immunity challenges, she's not afraid to be nasty or confrontational with the alliance. That's likely to hold her in good stead with her peers, most of whom got bounced by the Richard-Rudy-Susan troika. Unless the next immunity challenge involves sitting around, look for Kelly to keep her streak going right to the end.
Crude:
Susan Hawk, the truck driver nicknamed "Fargo" for her nasally Wisconsin accent and blunt vocabulary, had an instinctive feel for "Survivor" from the get-go. She snubbed her teammates who wanted to form a "chick clique" against Rudy. She joined up with Richard and Rudy (and for a while, Kelly) to form an unbreakable voting bloc. And despite the bad grammar, Susan seems to have talked her way into viewers' hearts: When the CBS Web site asked, "With which castaway would you like to be stranded with the most?", Susan whupped all those young bikini-wearing hotties with 31 percent of the vote. If an unexpected turn of fate sinks Rudy, look for her to take early retirement from trucking.
Nude:
Richard Hatch also known to his Internet admirers and detractors as "Richard III" and "Tricky Ricky" masterminded the alliance that has ousted the last six "Survivor" castoffs. His sometimes bizarre behavior ticked off other teammates, but they're all gone now thanks to him. Unfortunately, many of his victims will sit on the final jury, meaning Richard has almost no chance of winning.
Duuuuuuuude!
During the early days of "Survivor," the 73-year-old retired military man promised that in two weeks he'd have the game all figured out. He was right. Though his crustiness and his habit for the unprintable comment made him an early target, no one has voted against him since Week 7. In fact, people kinda like the old gay-basher. His weekly appearances on CBS have made him the second best-known Navy SEAL in America after Jesse Ventura. Which is why Rudy Boesch, the man with "Aloha Hawaii" tattooed above his navel, is my choice to wind up $1 million richer when he says "Aloha" to Palau Tiga.
Looking back: Why "Survivor" swept America
All summer long we've watched, discussed and guessed what will happen next on "Survivor," the brilliantly conceived game show that proves the only thing worse than eating a rat is being double-crossed by one.
Week 1
Week 2
- Ukelele-strumming Sonja stumbles, then takes the fall for her team losing an immunity challenge.
- B.B. finds a watering hole, gives his team fire, and generally works like heck.
- Richard takes off his shirt and sits in a tree.
Week 3
- Pagong loses the immunity challenge because Gervase won't eat his 3-inch beetle larvae.
- A frustrated B.B. tells his lazy teammates to vote him off, so they do. He immediately regrets it.
- Richard announces he's gay and takes off his trunks.
Week 4
- Colleen and Greg start sneaking off at night to cuddle. (Colleen later denies that they ever had, in David Letterman's words, "wild island sex.")
- Pagong loses the immunity challenge because Gervase can't swim. But they vote Stacey off instead.
- "Survivor" finishes No. 1 in the Nielsen ratings. Its weekly audience now exceeds 20 million.
Week 5
- Weak, sickly Ramona recovers her strength. Pagong gives her the gong anyway.
- The Tagi tribe eats well, thanks to Richard's fishing skills.
Week 6
- Sean's bowels finally move. He shares the good news with all.
- Biblical Dirk also shares the good news, but can't save himself.
- An Internet rumor circulates that hardy, amiable soccer mom Gretchen will win "Survivor."
Week 7
- Gervase jokingly compares women to cows. But the enraged Pagong females instead vote off Joel, who's accused of enjoying the joke too much.
- B.B. does a Reebok ad.
Week 8
- Rattana is formed but a Tagi alliance formed by Richard promptly ousts Gretchen. "She was a threat to win," explains Richard.
- A new Internet rumor circulates: Charming, Teflon-like Gervase will win "Survivor."
Week 9
- The Probst tantalizes everyone with a short video made by their family members all except Jenna, who weeps uncontrollably.
- The alliance strikes again, ridding the island of flaky Greg.
Week 10
- A Web site uncovers an arrest warrant for Kelly Wiglesworth, who's wanted on a credit-card fraud charge.
- Strategy or stupidity? Sean tells everyone he's voting in alphabetical order from now on, starting with Jenna. Sure enough, Jenna is ousted.
Week 11
- The Internet didn't see it coming, but he did: Gervase, wears a bullseye on his chest to tribal council, where he is cast off by the alliance.
Week 12
- Kelly stands on the end of a balance beam for nearly three hours and wins immunity.
- In words that are instantly mocked by all, departing sweetheart Colleen tells the group, "Play fair and be nice."
- Kelly presses the most volcanic mud off her body into a bucket and wins a night out with the Probst.
- Rudy declares that he hopes never to see Richard again after "Survivor" ends. But they still cast their votes together, which means so long to the nutty neurologist Sean.
ALSO: Reader Mark Jeffries gives credit where credit is due: "Not to take anything away from Mark Burnett, but some mention should be made of Charlie Parsons, the Brit who created the 'Survivor' format and could only interest Swedish television in the show at first. Parsons and his partner Bob Geldof (yes, that Bob Geldof) ran the Planet 24 production company, best known for the morning show 'The Big Breakfast,' inspiration for FX's 'Breakfast Time' and lots of bits on U.S. local news morning shows. It says something that when they sold Planet 24 a couple of years ago, the two of them kept the rights to the 'Survivor' format for themselves. I think they knew something."
Still more coverage of tonight's "Survivor" finale:
- An overnight review will be posted to TV Barn on Thursday
- Recap: The 12 weeks of "Survivor"
- A jaded "Survivor" glossary (including an entry for "Probst")
- Virginia Beach, Va., is pulling for Rudy
- TV Barn's "Survivor" page
Meanwhile on "Big Brother": The housemates plan a mutiny and other things CBS won't show us
TV Barn joins the all-stars
"The All-Star Newspaper," a new, high-visibility Web site from Brill's Content, has honored Aaron Barnhart by including him in its "starting lineup" Stories from TV Barn will be displayed regularly on The All-Star Newspaper. Thanks, Brill's!
On this date...
in 1990, Ferris Bueller falls in love with transfer student Sloan Petersen in the first episode of this prequel sitcom on NBC. While NBC has the official character names from the John Hughes flick "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," Fox's similar "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" proves more successful. "Ferris" is off the schedule by January, its place taken by "Blossom." Most of the cast land on their feet: Ferris (Charlie Schlatter) winds up on "Diagnosis: Murder," sister Jeannie (Jennifer Aniston) becomes a Friend, and director Bill Bixby gets work on "Blossom." -- Tom Heald
On this date...
in 1980, anchor Dan Rather refuses to pay his cab fare, so the CBS network agrees to pony up twelve dollars and fifty-five cents.
November 11: in 1952, In Los Angeles, inventors Wayne Johnson and John Mullin demonstrate "Crosby Video," the first magnetic-tape video recorder. The machine uses an eight thousand foot reel of one-inch tape to record 16 minutes of black and white video.
November 12: in 1977, NBC begins running "The Godfather Saga Mario Puzo's The Godfather: The Complete Novel for Television," a nine-hour, four-night event consisting of Godfather's I and II reedited in linear form with added footage. A similar project, "The Godfather 1902-1959: The Complete Epic" is released four years later on videocassette, but with different "bonus" footage. -- Tom Heald
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- Variety
- AP Entertainment (through Nando.Net)
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- Jim Romenesko's MediaNews
- SkyReport (satellite-TV news)
- New York Daily News
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- Robert Feder, Chicago Sun-Times
- Los Angeles Times TV
- News Blues ("... for TV news insiders")
- Television-related news from Moreover.com
- Late-night TV links at About.com
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