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Hercules (1997) ![[Three stars]](images/stars-3-4.gif){kind=small}
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by Andy Ihnatko
Ever since "Beauty And The Beast," Disney's feature animation has seemed to suffer from split-personality syndrome, as arch-rivals within the studio struggle for control of the film. The company attracts many of the Industry's top animators, of course, and they demand a tour-de-force of their craft. Their polar opposites email spreadsheets back and forth between themselves, predicting to the last pfennig how much the next film will bring in and insisting that since the profit has been unerringly predetermined, there's no need to spend more than absolutely necessary.
You've got other people nervously worried that the film won't attract enough kids, and others worried that it won't attract enough adults, and I imagine you've got the folks who run the soft-toy department at the Disney Stores asking the lead animators make everyone's eyes bigger.
And lastly there's the popular legend that says Disney always insists that their animated features include one song which can be turned into a top-40 single ("Beauty And The Beast", for instance) and one which can be used in commercials for the Disney parks ("Be Our Guest").
(Go ahead and try it. Go and think of the two most famous songs from every Disney feature since "The Little Mermaid" and you'll be convinced that the forthcoming "Fantasia 2000" soundtrack will feature a cut entitled "A Two-Hour Line For An Eighteen-Dollar Microwave Cheeseburger," performed by Mariah Carey and Ricky Martin.)
Somehow, it seems that Disney was once far better at appeasing all of its departments and turning out a great film nonetheless. With "The Little Mermaid," they made a great kiddie film which wouldn't completely bore the grownups, and with "Beauty And The Beast," they did just the opposite. But the $400,000,000 box-office of "The Lion King" poisoned the well, I think. It left Disney convinced that a monetary take to rival Scrooge McDuck's immense money crib wasn't a matter of luck and being the beneficiary of factors they couldn't possibly have predicted; they went away from "Lion King" convinced that a supermegahyperblockbuster could indeed be manufactured...and movies like "Hercules" are the result.
"Hercules" is a fun little film that wants to be a straightforward comedy. If Disney just went with that, they would have had a great flick on their hands. Hades, god of the underworld, is planning to unseat Zeus as god of the whole ball of wax. The Fates warn him that the only person who can skeezix this plan is Zeus' adult son. So bungling henchmen are dispatched to kill the newborn Hercules, and as bungling henchmen are apt to do, they botch the job and succeed only in removing his godhood and stranding him on Earth, where he's found and raised by the Greek equivalent of Ma and Pa Kent. But Olympus beckons and after discovering his true heritage Herc is determined to earn his way back in through acts of heroism. And meanwhile Zeus is moving on Olympus.
James Woods is Hades, playing the role as if he's auditioning to replace Jack Nicholson as The Joker in the next "Batman" movie. If Warner Brothers has any sense at all, they'll give him a call. Danny DeVito is Phil the Satyr, acting as Herc's coach and trainer. Both characters look and act like the stars portraying them. Woods' Hades is a cold, smooth Hollywood film executive type, always with the snappy patter, smug threats and buzzwords, and Phil is DeVito's "Taxi" character all over again. And the rest of the cast — including "Late Show With David Letterman's" Paul Shaffer as Mercury, god of hipster lingo — is given a lot of good lines and funny business. "Hercules" is full of visual gags and modern one-liners, most of which work.
But this potentially great comedy is dragged down into becoming just an average decent movie. Songs are slapped in there, tunes which are intended to be inspiring or moving or something, but just lay there and slow down the proceedings. Ten points out of ten, however, for the idea of having the story narrated by The Muses, wonderfully portrayed by what appears to be one of the road companies from "Dreamgirls." And Hades' assault on Olympus is animated with frank seriousness and drama, as is Hercules' pursuit of Hades into the underworld, but the effect is negated by the fact that Hades is spouting his one-liners even at the height of tension. Issues such as The Misfit Trying To Find His Place In The World, Do I Dare To Love, and The Greatest Strength Is Strength Of Character are lofted and dismissed with such speed and precision that you imagine they're there to qualify the film for some sort of educational tax credit.
It just really seems like a million Post-It notes got slapped on "Hercules"'s storyboards after the first read-through. As a result, it's often hard to see the comedy that got buried underneath. But it's still there and worth watching, even if you have to mentally tune out every time you hear the orchestra swell and realize that a flash of yellow is coming.
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© 2000 Andy Ihnatko. May not be redistributed without permission. Studio PR types wishing to send Andy tapes, promotional clothing, or high-end video gear in hopes of securing a positive review are advised that such efforts are futile, but they're free to try to determine how high Andy's price actually is. Mail any and all pelft to Box 279, Norwood, MA 02062. He could use a new subwoofer for his home-theater setup.
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