Better late than Neverland Ranch

Tom Heald’s Remote Patrol for Thursday, February 19, 2004
All times Eastern

For PBS programs, check local listings

THE LOSERS LOUNGE

Who among the cast of “Celebrity Mole: Yucatan” walked off with the second largest amount of money in their pocket?

A) Stephen Baldwin
B) Corbin Bernsen

C) Tracey Gold

D) Keisha Knight-Pulliam

E) Ananda Lewis



[Don’t be misled by the hidden clues, just skip to the bottom for the reveal.]

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The biggest storm ever hits the “Survivor: All-Stars” (8 p.m., CBS). Don’t know why there’s no sun up in the sky: Carl Weathers.



Suitors A-W discuss their disappointment at being discarded as easy as NBC’s “Coupling” on “The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All” (8 p.m., ABC).



Bravado, misogyny, homophobia … and that’s just the opening credits of “WWE SmackDown!” (8 p.m., UPN).



People jump rope with their arms and engage in a pillow fight over water on “Steve Harvey’s Big Time” (8 p.m., WB), a.k.a. the Libertarian Party nominating convention.



Mark Wahlberg lands on the damned dirty “Planet of the Apes” (8 p.m., Fox).



Temporarily out of decorating shows, TLC offers up another “Cops” rip-off: “Protect and Serve: On the Beat ” (8 p.m.).

Test pilots are showcased on “Dangerous Jobs” (8 p.m., National Geographic).


Spaces are traded on “The Apprentice” (9 p.m., NBC) as the teams are charged with renovating and renting apartments in the Trump Slums.



After a hitman casts away a millionaire and his wife, the crew of “CSI” (9 p.m., CBS) rounds up the usual suspects: the movie star, the Professor and Mary Anne.



“Frontline” (9 p.m., PBS) charges that you pay more money to the government than many Fortune 500 companies in “Tax Me if You Can.”

“Mostly True Stories: Urban Legends Revealed” (9 p.m., TLC) offers hits and mythes of cacti and telemarketers.


Neela gets claustrophobic in a hyperbaric chamber with a baby suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning on “ER” (9:59 p.m., NBC).



An alternative-earth scenario is imagined beginning with “Hitler’s Victory” (10 p.m., PBS). It turns out “The Producers” hit “Springtime for Roosevelt” is not a laugh riot.



“Mega Machines” (10 p.m., TLC) celebrates a real “rock star” hammering and clawing through 15 feet of mountain a day.

Ozzy and Sharon have bobblehead dolls to move on “PrimeTime Thursday” (10 p.m., ABC) in their first joint interview since he damaged a lot of his joints.


Fingerprints hold the key to a four-year-old cold case on “Without a Trace” (10 p.m., CBS) as the team goes in search of a sexual cult.

Acrophobics should avoid watching “The Best of …” (10:30 p.m., Food) as the show visits “Sky High Spots.”

UNNECESSARY GUEST STAR PATROL

* “Friends” (8 p.m., NBC): Anna Faris. Plot: Phoebe tutors Joey in French; the biological father of Monica and Chandler’s baby may be a serial killer (but probably isn’t).

* “Will & Grace” (8:32 p.m. [hah! /ed.], NBC): Suzanne Pleshette, Dave Foley, Tracey Ullman. Plot: Will takes cooking lessons, alone in a class of cavorting couples.

* “Extreme Makeover” (9 p.m., ABC): Dr. Phil. Plot: The show dangles the carrot of free surgery in front of three obese patients. Will starvation for a fancier face drive them to drink … Slim-Fast?

* “Chris Isaak Show” (10:05 p.m., Showtime): Michael Bublé. Plot: Characters date.

TELE-GEBRA

“CSI” + “NYPD Blue” + “BBC” - BVDs = “Without Malice” (10 p.m., A&E).

TALK TALK

* Dennis Miller (who wishes he was an Oscar Mayer) reaches the borderline but settles for Representative Anthony Weiner instead.

* Scott LaRose, Rich Vos, Cynthia Levin and Jim Norton go crazy for you on “Tough Crowd.”

* Sean Astin asks Tavis for a bedtime story.

* Sarah Jessica Parker, Professor Popsicle and Nelly Furtado express themselves with David Letterman.

* Dana Carvey, Steven Bailey and John Mayer live to tell Jay about their projects.

* Bonnie Hunt and Story of the Year cherish their time spent with Jimmy Kimmel.

* Tom Cavanagh, Poppy Montgomery and J.C. Chasez get into the groove with Craig Kilborn.

* Kim Cattrall, James Spader and Kenny Chesney justify their love for Conan O’Brien.

* Omar Epps, Brittany Daniel and Super Furry Animals hope to be Carson Daly’s lucky star.



Friday Morning

* Kristin Davis and Omar Epps share their secret with Regis and Kelly.

* Elton John takes a bow on “The View.”

* Meg Ryan, Jason Lewis and the Indigo Girls go deeper and deeper with Ellen DeGeneres.

* Sharon Osbourne and George Lopez teach Andrea Parker and Holly Marie Combs the power of goodbye.

* Cyndi Lauper and Dr. Dorothy Height tell Wayne what it feels like for a girl.

TAXED EXEMPTION

While the winner made off with $222,000, the other money winner of a mere $10,000 (and an exemption she had to give away) was C) Tracey Gold. Since she couldn’t use it to protect her own standing in the game, and she managed to screw up the quiz, Gold left at the end of that episode with money in her pocket, instead of the progressive jackpot.